THE TRILOGY - SATAN JESUS RETARD.

PART ONE - SATAN

you live for jesus
difference between me and you
i kill for satan.
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remember when you couldn't go to mexico if you had blonde hair & blue eyes for fear of getting abducted & murdered by satanists? i remember.
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listen to metal
turn it up, worship satan
and then kill yourself.
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i'd kill for satan
no really, i fuckin' would
i would kill a cat.
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in middle school i had a friend who claimed to have done magical & sometimes satanic rituals. i was also friends with people who belived him.
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when i go to church
i eat as much as i can
& steal their $.
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S - A- T -A - N
he is always battling
J - E - S - U - S.
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bob larson speaks nothin' but the truth. buy his records. buy his books. seek out his truths. he is cool.
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aleister crowley
middle finger to the lord
& user of drugs.
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if i sold my soul
i wouldn't sell it to you
'cuz you ain't satan.
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i don't believe robert johnson's story. i also don't believe his music.
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i really hate that one rush album cover that has that man walking towards a pentagram.
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do you remember
the big satanic panic
that shit was awesome.
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them pagan lyrics
is what made me kill them folks
i love rock n' roll.
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razorblades in candy was the best thing i've ever heard.
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the necronomicon is retarded.
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PART TWO - JESUS

jesus won't save you
neither will going to church
now what do you do?
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glad pope john paul died
that motherfucker was old
& needed to die.
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i bet that jesus fish tastes really good when put in a fry daddy.
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j-e-s-u-s
he will shine his light for you
& it will blind you.
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blessed be thy name
father, son, the holy ghost
fuck that jesus shit.
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if i could, i would join the 700 club. i love pat robertson. &i loved those protein shakes that he was pushin' a few yrs ago.
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buddha is wrong. islam is wrong. satan is wrong. ganesh is wrong. folks in the jungle are wrong. zen is wrong. feng shui is wrong. mythology is wrong. jesus is right. & psychedelics.
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i have seen the light
but that light was too damn bright
had to turn it off.
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bible code is rad.
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may the power of crisco compel you.
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in my teen yrs if you spent saturday night at my house you had to attend sunday school & church service with my family the next mornin' or go home. well, in my closet was the circuit box, & in the middle of the night i would sometimes flip the breakers, which would reset all the clocks, which meant everyone overslept, which meant no church. or at least no sunday school. fuck sunday school.
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he died for your sins
he did not die for my sins
patti smith sang this.
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heard he walked the earth
& turned water into wine
I HATE FAIRY TALES!
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he will accept you
only if you accept him
think that's how it works.
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the pope sleeps on sheets with a thread cound of about 8 billion, that are made of the finest egyptian cotton. heard they cost around $20,000. this is why the pope fuckin' rules.
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when my daughter was baptized, the preacher of my parent's church wanted to talk to me about the importance and meaning of the procedure. during the conversation he found out that i had never been baptized & that i should get baptized along with my daughter. i explained that we were only doing this to follow a tradition on my wife's side of the family, & that i would not be getting baptized. he immediately told me that i would be going to hell. there's that feelgood christian bullshit at it's best. appropriately, his name was dick.
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have you ever seen
heaven on a real clear day
i haven't either.
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when i go to church
i try not to point & laugh
but it is so hard.
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hey, zeus.
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jesus was not conceived during the big bang.
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PART THREE - RETARD

retard sex is gross
the reason i know it's gross
it involves retards.
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man, i love retards
feel a connection with them
then i point & laugh.
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apes = smarter than retards
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retards have their own bus during grade school. too bad they can't use this bus the rest of their life.
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her name was kristin. she was severely retarded. she had cerebral paulsey. she kinda sicked me out. my mom assisted her at her elementary school. my mom suspects that kristin's mom did drugs during her 1st two pregnancies. she has 3 kids, the first 2 are severly retarded and handicapped, the 3rd is as normal as could be. the mom mostly ignored the 2 retarded kids, and just did stuff with the normal one.
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they have blank faces
& usually grin alot
talkin' 'bout retards.
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handle me with care
you got some peanut butter?
things retards might say.
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corky, from the tv show life goes on, for president! he will do more better.
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my 7th grade science teacher was a big, fat, stupid, mean cunt. she looked like she had down syndrome. oddly enough she told me the only thing i know about down syndrome. she said that the line of the palm of yr hand, you know the big one that curves across yr palm, well people with down syndrome don't have this line on their palm.
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why do they always feel the need to shout? i mean, really, come on. (say this in the voice of jerry seinfeld)
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i am not above
punching retards really hard
make retardeder.
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have you ever seen
a retarded person walk
man, that shit is great.
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have you ever seen
a retarded person dance
even funnier.
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rainman is my favorite retard of all time. he had ambition. he got to finally drive the car. that was cool.
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retards think 2+2 = 1,754,690. like always, they're wrong.
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some of them fool you
far away they look normal
then they get closer.
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i once knew a girl who named her hamster ricky retardo.
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retard knock, knock joke
knock, knock. who's there? i don't know. i don't know who? i don't know, i'm retarded.
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what's that on your face
it looks like peanut butter
it's peanut butter.
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i found out that garlic will not keep retards away. that only works on vampires. you know what does work? a shotgun.
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