Saturday, August 30, 2008

BAD LUCK.

being slapped on yr backside upon entry to this world. what a fucked up way to start off. yr covered in blood, forced out of a warm vagina into a cold hospital room, then yr fuckin' smacked by a total stranger...

we realized we hadn't seen our cat, chaplin, for at least three or so days. which is unusual. a few days later chaplin was found dead across the street under my grandparent's porch.at least it wasn't sophie, the other cat..

broken shoestrings. broken glass. broken bones. broken hearts. broken anything...

right after we moved to the small east texas town that is alto , i was approached by a homeless man. he asked if i could spare some change. he then pointed out that he ain't seen me around before. i tell'em " we're new to town, from ft. worth". he then asks "what ya'll doin' moving to a bum town like this?"...the same homeless man came up to my aunt while she was usin' the phone on my grandparent's front porch. he starts of sayin' how hot it is outside, he's been walkin', and if she could get him a glass of water. my aunt gets off the phone, and says "well, i guess i can do that". he then asks for some bread, and if she can get the bread can she put some cheese on it. my aunt tells'em "well, this ain't my house, let me go get my dad". my grandpa comes out and tells the guy "you best just keep on goin"...

a moth being so beautiful that you feel you must touch it, thus killing it. my god damned genius of a daughter explained that moths have some sort of dust / powderlike substance covering their wings, and if you touch the moth's wings you'll knock off the fairy dust and it can no longer fly, then it dies. the news of this fucked information made me want to run outside into the streets, screaming nonsense, firing shotgun blasts into the air in rememberance of all dead forgotten moths that have died at the hands of my curiousity and admiration. shit, i got a dead lunar moth in a small cardboard box around here somewhere...

sexually transmitted diseases freak me the fuck out. the amount of folks that have AIDS in the world is just disturbing. trojan condoms should be one of the richest companies the fuckin' planet, but i bet it's not. but for some reason, mcdonald's is...

the pope bein' against birth control is fucked up. also, him bein' against divorce ain't right either. some folks just ain't meant to be together. some folks say, "well, what about the children?". well, you hope they survive their upbringing in a positive way and are productive members of society. but, if they are suffering because yr stupid enough to not leave yr spouse, you might wanna rethink yr shit...

alzheimer's, dimensia, old age in general, cancer, schizophrenia, dyslexia, insomnia, depression, night terrors, influenza, bein' lactose intolerant, aches, pains, arthritis, the plague, doctors thinkin' it's a good idea to stick leeches all over yr fuckin' body, believers of holistic medicine (fuck a crystal), mental retardation, yr average compulsive gambler, anyone who has received shock treatment, rape victims, folks who've gone into the hospital for some basic bullshit procedure and the folks who work for the hopital fuck up and do somethin' like amputate their foot. that shit just ain't right...

mohammed ali bein' so totally braindead retarded that he's not able to boast of his wonderful talents...

lotto tickets that didn't pay off littering the streets of my neighborhood. the lack of city funding to pick such things up...

scrubbing multiple toilets a day for cash...

forgotten thoughts...

tom, from the cartoon "tom and jerry". that motherfucker never got a break. really, if you think about it, this is the general basis for any "decent" cartoon. sylvester never got tweety, pooh bear was always stuck in a hole or bein' attacked by a swarm of bees,how many times you think that you saw ol' boy wyle e.coyote, supposed super fuckin' genius, get knocked upside the head with his very own acme brand anvil? how many times did you see that fuckin' mope catch the roadrunner? hey, boo boo, let's go get a picnic basket. and don't even get me started on charlie brown. that motherfucker has issues...

unrecognized genius.or genius that is recognized, then exploited.or genius that just goes downhill, such as brian wilson, townes van zandt, roky erickson, antonin artaud, or the oh so heart breaking story of singer/songwriter daniel johnston...

television should be a great, great thing. but mostly, it's not. it's just used as a tool to get you to buy the new shiny whatever the fuck. or you got the news blatherin' about the same bullshit, channel to channel, gettin' you all worked up over nothin'...

you seen that picture of that vietnamese guy & standin' next to him is a guy from the vietcong with his gun up to ol' boy's temple?. what about them "special" pictures you let yr boyfriend take of you, that ended up on the internet after ya'll had an ugly break-up?...

i'm sure that miles davis hit a bad note here and there. i'm also sure that coltrane did not...

the thousands of contestants who have lost on the television game show "wheel of fortune". as a small child i would laugh my ass of when folks would spin that big ol' wheel hopin' to hit some large sum of money, hit bankrupt instead and lose EVERYTHING. (my grandma says i called it "bankrob")...

down the street from our house there is an old cemetary. there are quite a few headstones for children who are two years old or younger. most of the headstones of this type, are dated from during the time of the depression. i still ain't read that book by steinbeck...

there's this man who comes into the pawn shop where my wife works, and pawns the same tv every week. he's been doin' the same fuckin' routine for years. pawns it on friday, and picks it up on monday. every fuckin' week. ain't that some shit?...

damn near every time i go to the dairy queen down the street, they somehow screw up my order. i'm a picky eater, so i make sure to specefically say what i want on my food. yet, they still fuck it up. last time i ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with tomatos, mustard, and jalapenos (which cost somethin' like seventy-five cents extra). well, i got all the things i asked for, plus a little more. they also put lettuce, which is easily chunked off to the side, but the real kicker was that it was slathered with mayo. mayonnaise will severely effect the taste of bread, even after you've scraped that nasty shit off. the mayo also fucked up my jalapenos. so i ate my chicken sandwich on two pieces of white sunbeam bread with some spicy brown mustard...

you seen that movie "falling down", starring michael douglas? god damn. and i thought that book about the kid who was havin' a terrible, no good, very bad day had quite alot of bullshit dumped on one person...

i think i was in 4th grade when it happened. one day at school, during P.E., the teacher threw out all the sports equipment, and let us have at it. so a few of us decide we're gonna go off this direction and play baseball. well, my friend who had the bat and ball, figgers it's a good idea to all the sudden chunk the ball up in the air and take a swing at it with the bat. i have no idea this is happening right next to me, and the aluminum baseball bat catches me on the left side of my face, right on my eye. i immediately hit the ground screamin' and cryin'. the left side of my face was ugly, swollen, and bruised for a couple of weeks...

one night i'm up late, flippin' channels. i'd say it was around two o'clock or so in the mornin'. i would always stop on cnn if they was showin' something interesting. well, i see that pee wee herman has been arrested for masterbating in an adult movie theater. he's tried to make a few comebacks since then, but i don't think they worked all that well...

i see so much roadkill on the drive to work every morning, and on the way home every evening...

the other day, this 62 yr old man by the name of l.c., was tellin' me about his days in the rodeo. he said "if he bucked me off, shoot, i didn't get no money"...the same man told be about his wife dyin' in his old house. he decided he couldn't live there no more, so he fixed up some stuff, bought a new stove, furnished parts of the house, and rented the house out to a couple for $200 dollars a month. he even paid their first month of utility bills to help'em out. then those fuckin' assholes stiffed'em on 3 months rent, took some of the furniture, the shiny new stove, and skipped town...

my aunt and uncle have about fifty acres of beautiful land in east texas, and they plan on buyin' some of the surrounding land. there's a pond wih fish in it. they've got a horse, that they love with all their heart. the plan is to build a log cabin. well, here recently oil company folks been sniffin' around the area, askin' if they can survey the land for some big to do oil bullshit. they've called the house, they've left notes on the front door of the house, they even showed up at the pawn shop that my aunt owns. they keep tellin' them asshole oil folks to stay away. shit, they've let folks know that they'll shoot trespassers. but, i have a bad feelin' that ain't gonna stop'em. fuckin' immenent domain bullshit. it it completely disgusting to me that we allow these fuckin' people to post record breaking profits. absolutely disgusting...

can you believe that marvin gaye's dad shot him in the stomach? the last violent thing my dad did to me was spank me with the leather belt when i got suspended for the second time during my 4th grade year...

they're findin' more & more folks who are in prison, innocent. think i remember hearin' about some poor soul who lost around thirty yrs of his life to prison...

one time in 7th grade, this kid named donny bayless, who i'd known as an asshole bully since i was in 4th grade, broke into my house, and stole a couple hundred dollars worth of baseball cards from my bedroom...

shit, even superman died. what kind of chance do us mere mortals have?...

for many, many yrs, damn near everyone smoked cigarettes and/or cigars. folks would watch their favorite television stars push cigarettes on commercials. even andy fuckin' griffith enjoyed a smoke or two almost every episode. little did they know...

almost every situation that charlie chaplin gets himself into while playin' the li'l tramp. why them cops gotta keep fuckin' with him?...

the sun. the giver of life. many cultures have worshipped that motherfucker. built big ol' fuckin' temples in it's honor, based fuckin' calanders around it, come up with all kindsa stories for it's regular disappearin' / reappearin' routine. well, it could very well give you cancer. so much for that whole giver of life bullshit...

all these folks gave this investor lots and lots of money,(i think around $100 million) to invest. it was basically a ponzi scheme of sorts. motherfucker was able to buy his own plane, which he flew mistresses / prostitutes in and out of town with. shit, he was payin' for one of the girls to go to nursin' school. (she very well might have to pay that money back.) for some fuckin' reason, most of the money is unrecoverable. my wife told me she heard folks might get thirty percent of their moneys back. thirty percent of half a million dollars or more ain't shit. not to these fuckers, anyway. well, it is to me, but that's a whole other story...

remember when milli vanilli got busted for lip synchin'? man that shit was fuckin' great. a few yrs after they got called out for bein' talentless puppets, milli or vanilli ( i ain't sure which), killed himself...

on my days off i look at the clock, and let's say it says straight up noon. next thing i know, what feels like a couple of hours, has actually been five or more hours. william s. burroughs called them time gobblers...

that little girl who just dropped her ice cream cone in the dirt. also, i think she dropped her dolly. (so says the song)...

the life and times of nikola tesla upsets me greatly. they burned that fools books. FUCKIN' BURNED THEM. alot of colleges still won't allow you to try and replicate his experiments...

the plight of the native american indian...

all those coin tosses you've lost over yr lifetime. and you know there's been quite a handful...

one time we lost the financial assistance from the government that we were gettin' for our daughter's daycare because they sent out the renewal paper work to us too late...

bein' the child of stupid alcoholics is horrible. here's somethin' that happened one time: from what i remember i was in elementary school. i had been at grandma's for the weekend. when i came home on sunday, i noticed the little window on the front door had been smashed out, and there were little blood streams & drops all over the inside of the door...i was pretty amused when i helped my dad construct a big ol' castle made out of empty beer cans, while he was separted from my mom & livin' with a guy he worked with...i sat on the couch at many, many AA meetings as a child, waitin' to go home. thinkin', maybe we'll get pizza on the way home...

disconnection notices, late charges, bank overdraft charges, repossession. folks that gotta go to those payday advance places, only to get completely and totally fucked. shit, even god damned oprah winfrey did a piece on how fucked up those places are. while i'm at it, i'll just go ahead and say that poverty is just flat out fucked up. it is an all reaching virus that more folks feel the effects of than don't. bein' poor is more than just not havin' huge stacks of cash.(i know, some folks say bein' poor is a choice, but that ain't necessarily true. yes, some folks are just lazy, or just squander their money. but some folks are just victim to the bad side of random chance.) lack of cash can also come along with gettin' fucked with by kids at school for only havin' three shirts and two pairs of pants. shit like that can fuck a kid up. it shouldn't, but it does. they can easily turn extremely anti-social, & become the next colombine. yr the victim now, motherfucker. you ain't got access to the same kinds of education that the folks on the other side of town have the advantage of ditching so they can go to the mall instead. my wife said that lots of pancakes & scrambled eggs were consumed in her house while growin' up...

bein' a diseased leper freak, back in the day, cast to the outer edges of society, reduced to panhandling, and sellin' them teeny tiny hand-rolled cigarettes, that bukowski loved so much, i think are called bidi's...

the average life span of a rainbow is very, very short. all that spider wanted to do was come out and play, and you can't even let him do that? fuck you...

every time paw, from "little house on the prarie", turned around, some horrible fuckin' shit was happenin' to him and his peoples. mary went blind. albert, the adopted son, got addicted to morphine that one time. his wife, carolyn, once got scraped by the barbed wire fence one day while doin' some bullshit out on the farm, shit got infected, and she almost died. then there was that one girl who got raped in the woods by a man wearin' a clown mask. A FUCKIN' CLOWN MASK. (thoughts of john wayne gacy come to mind. i wonder what the real john wayne would think of his name bein' shared by a serial killer.) turns out that the clown mask guy was her father. i'm sure that there were good things that happened to laura, *aka* half pint, but, off the top of my head, i can't think of one to save my life...

can you imagine living in a time where censorship is so strong, knowing that what you write has absolutely no chance of being published, and yr writings might get you jailed? i would imagine that setting could produce a horrible state of mind, and extreme paranoia to some people...

i approximate there to be one million forgeries, or more (who fuckin' knows), hanging in art mueseums all throughout the world...

this one is for all the people who were stupid enough to have been hit by shit as thrown by gg allin. we're glad yr dead. but pissed you didn't kill yrself on stage as you had promised for so many years. thanks for lettin' us down, gg. thanks for lettin' us down...

identity theft and date rape are possibly the worst of modern crimes. also, minimum wage...

i remember there being a scare in the 1980's that all the early films of cinema history weren't being properly cared for, and might get lost forever if nothing got done about it. fuck you poor people, we've got these canisters of old films to save. never mind the fact that yr probably hungry and ain't had a shower since god knows when. these god damn films need to be in the air conditioning...

carl worked at the pawn shop in east texa for around thirteen or so years. carl had one ear. carl had no teeth. carl was addicted to gambling in many of it's different forms. scratch off lotto tickets seemed to be his favorite regular gambling activity. carl also loved to play computer games of slot machines and poker. he also regulary played in local "texas hold'em" poker tournaments. carl believed himself to be an expert gambler. carl knew all the secrets to gambling. carl knew everything about everything, yet knew nothing at all what so ever. carl was always flat-ass broke. carl was always taking money from the register. carl thought nothin' serious would ever happen to him. carl was wrong. carl got fired. fuck carl...

i ain't even gonna mention my grandma and her fuckin' tumor. maybe she'll get her vision back in her left eye, after everything is all said and done. too bad she can't get all the visions restored to their true form, that she wasn't able to see properly over the past year...

i can't believe there's folks who have been reducted to fucking blow-up dolls. you seen them things they got now called "REAL DOLLS"? those are the most realistic and expensive manequins i've ever fuckin' seen. motherfuckers can cost upwards of $10,000. for that price, you should most definitely be able to fuck it. (just fuck it for hours and hours because you can. shit, maybe you will have some sort of religious experience. seems like you might need it.) the fact that there's folks more than happy to purchase these uppity fuck dolls, disturbs me to no end. how does someone reach this point? what, horrible fucked-up things could happen to someone, that would lead to such a sad, pathetic purchase? ...

taking cows off to slaughter must be a very long, hard walk...

psychedelic mushrooms being illegal is a complete and total disgrace to all of mankind. the comedian bill hicks said "i'm glad mushrooms are illegal. i took'em once, laid in a field of green grass for four hours, and thought, my god, i love everything"...

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